unequivocal

Today is a big day. In case you haven’t heard, for the first time in history, America has a president who has unequivocally stated his support for same-sex marriage.

[I]t is important for me personally to go ahead and affirm that same-sex couples should be able to get married.

In an interview with ABC in the White House, President Obama said he’d always hesitated to voice his support because he thought civil unions would be enough, that he’d overlooked the importance of the tradition of marriage. I don’t know that I believe this, exactly, but I also don’t care.

President Obama, you’ve won my vote in 2012. Just let’s please do something worthwhile with it.

an openly gay republican is appointed as spokesman…

Richard Grenell is an openly gay Republican political strategist and media consultant. So apparently yes, you can be openly gay and still be accepted by Republicans. Sort of.

Mitt Romney is the presumed Republican presidential nominee – in case you haven’t heard – who actually hired Mr. Grenell as a spokesman for his campaign. For I believe the first time ever, I gave Mr. Romney props.

Bryan Fischer is the Director of Issues and Analysis for the American Family Association, a non-profit organization which promotes conservative, Christian values. Not too long after Mr. Romney appointed Mr. Grenell, Mr. Fischer tweeted this:

Mr. Romney of course caved to pressure from Mr. Fischer and the like and, less than a week after he was hired, Mr. Grenell resigned from the Romney campaign. This is very tragic in many ways – an openly gay citizen being denied a job because of bigotry, Mr. Romney once again caving to external pressure and flip-flopping on an issue – but I want to unpack Mr. Fischer’s tweet, so I’ll let you ruminate on the tragedy itself on your own time.

For starters, calling homosexuals gays is not okay. It’s like saying Arab with a long-A at the beginning and the emphasis on the second syllable. All it does it let everyone know pretty plainly that you hate. In Mr. Fischer’s case, we already know he hates so this isn’t news. But I’m not the kind of person to let hurtful language go unchecked so I had to get that out there before moving on.

Now we can get to Mr. Fischer’s logical flaw: If personnel is policy, then his message is drop dead.

There are two major flaws in this argument. Firstly, personnel can reflect policy, yes. But in the world of American politics, this is less true than in many other places. In politics people are often given jobs as a reward for some political assist, i.e. typically a campaign manager will become the Chief of Staff after the president is elected. I’m not saying it’s always this way and I’m not saying that the people in these jobs aren’t qualified. I’m merely pointing out that Mr. Fischer is making this logical argument in an arena in which it is perhaps least suited.

The second – larger – problem here is that Mr. Fischer is taking one aspect of Mr. Romney’s personnel choice and basing his argument upon it. You know how I know Mr. Grenell is good at his job? He’s an openly gay Republican political consultant. If there weren’t more to the man than simply being openly gay, he’d have been run out of D.C. long ago by his own party. Using this same logical flaw, I could say that, since the United States has had women as Secretaries of State for the past seven years,(1) our message to the pro-peace community is: have boobs. Taking one aspect of a person and judging and treating that person based upon that aspect is the very foundation of bigotry and hate. It’s at the root of racism. sexism, ageism, you name it. It’s stupid and mean and makes you look like an impatient, unthinking ass.

Now to the next point: I want to talk about this so-called pro-family community.

For starters, is there an anti-family community? Is there a meh, family, I could take it or leave it community? Are there people our there who really think the notion of family is hogwash? My history with my own family is complex, but I still recognize the need for family, the good that family does. Even many of the inner-city, hard-life people I’ve met and talked to – people who have no reason to be loyal to any part of a society that has forgotten them – would fight tooth and nail and hair and skin for their families.

My point here is that Mr. Fischer is setting up what’s called a false relational binary. By talking about a pro-family community, he’s implying the notion of an anti-family community. By aligning an openly gay politician against the pro-family community, Mr. Fischer creates this:

heterosexuals = pro-family
homosexuals = anti-family

This, in my experience, simply is not true. Part of the difficulty of homosexual life is the desire to be accepted – and the fear of being rejected – by one’s own family. That simply would not be the case if most LGBT citizens did not value family as an institution. This relational binary Mr. Fischer has created is a lie and does not at all reflect the reality of American life in the early 21st century. Furthermore, Mr. Fischer is presuming to know what the LGBT community values and needs, while very clearly himself hating that very community. You cannot speak for people you hate, Mr. Fischer. You cannot attempt to transmit their values when you’ve made no honest attempt to understand them. This is something a friend of mine taught me is called straightspeak, and you, sir, are guilty of it.

I have one more point to make, and that is this: every single thing that has happened in human history -  every single thing - has been the result of heterosexual pairing. Everything from Hitler and Stalin to Gandhi and Mother Teresa. Everything from Crocs and Reese Witherspoon to Legos and Naomi Watts. Everything from me to you, Mr. Fischer, results from millennia of heterosexual pairings and – for the most part – upbringing. Frankly, it’s not going all that well. There are some glorious achievements; there are some horrifying atrocities. There is absolutely no reason – none whatsoever – to believe that a homosexual family would create anything better or anything worse than eons of heterosexual families have.

Even from the standpoint of statistical probability, your argument is invalid.

I would suggest, Mr. Fischer, that you do some real research before you open your mouth again, but I know you have a job to do and I wouldn’t ask you to risk your and your family’s well-being. I would ask you, however, to remember that even people like Mr. Grenell have family, a family that, despite having a homosexual among them, they are still family, the institution you purportedly value and for which you purportedly speak.


  1. With the exception of the one day William J. Burns served on the day of President Obama’s inauguration.

bits and pieces

Today I’ve been in a fair amount of pain. Most of it’s in my torso, but also my joints. I’m back to feeling like this:

It’s just been today, though. This week, in general, I’ve been in more pain than last week, but I’ve also been less tired. It’s a trade-off I’ll deal with. If I continue hurting at this level for a while I’ll talk to the doctor, but my standpoint on this fibromyalgia thing has been to just hang in there until something become intolerable.

Tomorrow Ashley and I are off to Pittsburgh for a transplant check-up. Hopefully everything goes smoothly, though I’m not really worried. She’s doing fantastically well, even now 4.5 years out.

And hopefully tonight, between prepping to leave and getting enough rest, I can squeeze in some time to watch last night’s episode of Jimmy Fallon w/ President Obama. I don’t always agree with some of the things he does or thinks, and I don’t usually agree with his methods. But I love that we have a cool guy working in the Oval Office. I love that he can hang, you know? And from what little I’ve heard during the few seconds I’ve had today to check the news, he killed it last night. I hope he did, and I hope I can make time to watch it.

weird

If you’ve read Macbeth, you know weird things come in threes.(1)(2)

one

For a moment today – just for a moment – I liked Santorum.(3) For one brief shining moment, I smiled approvingly upon something he did when I read – on Facebook, posted by George Takei(4) – that he’s suspended his presidential campaign. But then, of course, because he’s Rick Santorum, he said, “We’re not done fighting.”

Fighting for what, Mr. Santorum? You’ve basically pulled a Lady-Gaga-in-a-meat-dress thing here. The last thing I knew you were fighting for was the Republican nomination…and you’ve quit fighting for that. So what, specifically, are you fighting for? Perhaps you should have an answer to that question before you keep talking.

two

I exercised today. At work. Went for a walk with k. I was expecting a leisurely stroll. Instead, we covered about a quarter of the Appalachian Trail in about fifteen minutes and then ran from New Mexico to the Yukon Territory for the other fifteen minutes.

Well okay actually all we did was walk two miles in about 30 minutes. But it felt like the other one.

three

Someone from work-life admitted to reading my blog. Now, this isn’t someone at my library, and not someone I talk to directly very often at all.(5) But when she sent me an email owning up to her lurker behavior, I was quite shocked.

You see, I’m something of an attention-hungry monster.(6) Anyone with a personal blog by necessity is, especially someone who doesn’t really hide. If you search my name, this blog will be pretty high on the list. I don’t talk about work other than in abstract ways, so it’s not a big deal. What surprised me is why.

Being something of an attention-hungry monster, sometimes at work I send out these wildly ridiculous emails to a state-wide group of library-people. I figure most of them are as wrapped up in the tedium as I am most of the time, so why not liven everyone’s day with a few select pieces of nerd-humor?(7) Plus I’ve found that one of the best ways not to annoy everyone with even more tedious things,(8) is to make them laugh a little bit. I mean sure I’m still asking for the same annoying stuff as everyone else, but I’m being funny about it. It helps. Believe me.

So when she admitted that she likes my emails so much she searched for other places to find my insanity, I was very surprised. Most of the time I figure the five six people who read this blog do so out of pathos. So it was weird that someone sought me out.

And then so also of course there’s a ridiculous amount of pressure now. Now that I know other people may actually be trying to find me here, instead of stumbling across this blog while looking for the Snuggie Sutra,(9) there’s a push to write better. Be funnier. Include more footnotes.(10) Do something other than what I normally do here.

That sounds like a lot of effort. I think I’ll just go on being ridiculous.


  1. If you haven’t read Macbeth, stop reading this doggerel and go read it. You can find it free on the intertubes and free for any e-reader out there. Or, you know, you could go to the library.
  2. Apologies to those of you who might be theatre folk and believe that uttering the name of the Scottish play to be bad luck, a curse, bad mojo, voodoo, ill omen and/or harbinger of doom.
  3. The dude. Not the substance. I really have no opinion on the substance, though I think it’s pretty awesome Dan Savage created this little gadfly.
  4. I’m not proud of this. The getting-my-news-from-Facebook thing. I’m totally proud to be a fan of George Takei.
  5. In fact, today may have been the first time.
  6. Not my words, but not entirely inappropriate.
  7. And/or footnotes.
  8. Viz, supply requests.
  9. Happens all the time. Seriously.
  10. Just kidding. Sort of.

may no one extend kindness to him

In case you haven’t heard, Kansas Speaker of the House Mike O’Neal sent an email to fellow Republicans asking them to pray Psalm 109 for President Obama.

Psalm 109 goes something like this, starting at verse 8:

8 May his days be few;
may another take his place of leadership.
9 May his children be fatherless
and his wife a widow.
10 May his children be wandering beggars;
may they be driven from their ruined homes.
11 May a creditor seize all he has;
may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor.
12 May no one extend kindness to him
or take pity on his fatherless children.
13 May his descendants be cut off,
their names blotted out from the next generation.
14 May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the LORD;
may the sin of his mother never be blotted out.
15 May their sins always remain before the LORD,
that he may blot out their name from the earth.(1)

Let’s jump back up to verse 9. May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. Does that not sound like Speaker O’Neal is wishing death to the to President of the United States of America? It’s not a threat, precisely, but it sounds like insurrection as defined by U.S. Code Title 18, Part 1, Chapter 15, Section 2383

Whoever incites, sets on foot, assists, or engages in any rebellion or insurrection against the authority of the United States or the laws thereof, or gives aid or comfort thereto

And what’s the punishment for insurrection?

shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than ten years, or both; and shall be incapable of holding any office under the United States. (emphasis mine)(2)

We’ve gone well beyond calling the President a liar.

Representative Wilson was made to apologize to President Obama and the House passed a resolution of disapproval. Maybe that wasn’t enough, but it’s pretty easy to assume that Rep. Wilson was caught up in the moment.

I can’t make that case of Speaker O’Neal. He didn’t suffer an outburst; he’s suborned his fellow Republicans to pray for the death of the President. He should be removed from office. Immediately.

In the meantime, here is Speaker O’Neal’s contact information:

785-296-2302
620-662-0527
mike.oneal@house.ks.gov

Feel free to say to him what you will. For my part, if there’s one part of Psalm 109 I would wish upon him, it’s verse 12:

May no one extend kindness upon him.


one down

Well, Michelle Bachmann announced today that she will “step aside” from the Presidential race. She finished sixth in Iowa and there just aren’t many options available to come back from that. Especially when you’re batshit crazy.

In what is bound to be another ‘oops’ moment, Rick Perry is skipping New Hampshire and focusing on South Carolina. Or least that’s what his Twitter feed indicates. I’m pretty sure it’s his feed, though the accompanying photo looks a bit more like Gary Busey than Rick Perry.

So but anyway, Perry is all but out at this point. Skipping New Hampshire will take him out of the news for a week or so and South Carolina will likely be split heavily amongst the non-Romneys so much that Romney will come in first again.

As exciting as this is – exciting because all I’m really after is having fewer crazies running for office – Rick Santorum, Mister Batshit Crazy, got an unhappy boost in Iowa, finishing just behind Mitt. I sort of like keeping Senator Santorum around just so I can occasionally look up his last name and giggle. But he’s precisely the kind of crazy I’d rather not be in office:

During his time in elected office, Rick Santorum fought for the preservation of the traditional American family and for the protection of the most vulnerable in our society. (From his website.)

Basically that means Rick won’t let gay couples marry and won’t let women get abortions. But the part that gets me is his ‘protection of the most vulnerable in our society.’ He means, I think, unborn babies, but to call them vulnerable and in the same sentence ignore another marginalized part of our society is just crazy. He’ll defend the rights of the unborn and take away the rights of adults. Again, that’s exactly the kind of crazy I’d rather not have in the Oval Office. So I can only hope New Hampshire treats him poorly, which it probably will since he’s spent all of his time and money in Iowa.

Of course, that could leave us with John Huntsman. Or Ron Paul. Or Newt. It’s not a great time to be a Democrat right now, but the Republican offerings read like even Kathy Griffin’s D-List.

Eesh.

Fear and Laughter in Ohio

It’s incredibly interesting – and I’ll even go ahead and call it cool – to live in a swing state. I can sum it up with one simple fact: at 36 years old I have personally laid eyes upon four U.S. Presidents. That averages to once every nine years. Back in 2007 I cut a conference I was attending to go listen to a fiery young African-American first-term junior senator who had the audacity to run for president. I managed to shake his hand. If didn’t live in Ohio, I don’t know that this would have happened. Sure maybe it amounts to nothing more than contrived speeches and empty rhetoric, but there’s something cool about seeing the President.

In other words, the attention is nice.

There’s a downside, though. Until a few weeks ago I thought that the worst part of living in a swing state is being responsible for the extra four years of President George W. Bush and the postmodern ridiculousness that is Joe the Plumber, who after finding himself a sudden media sensation after he challenged Mr. Obama with a tough question and was whisked away on Senator McCain’s doomed campaign, insists that his fifteen minutes are not, in fact, up and is considering a run for congress.

I’ve learned of late that I was incredibly naïve. There are far worse things about living in a swing state, especially when the Republican Party has decided to play dirty pool.

What’s at stake in Ohio is nothing short of the people’s right to vote. The past several months have seen several bills signed into law by Gov. Kasich(1) that are very clearly aimed at suppressing the vote. They have cut the time for absentee voting from 35 days before the election to 21 and early voting from 35 to 17 days. Just yesterday, Ohio Secretary of State John Husted, a Republican, said that early voting would end at 6PM on the Friday before the election, even though most polling places in Ohio are incredibly busy on the Saturday before Election Day.

Current Ohio law requires poll workers to direct voters to their correct district to vote. A new law would leave that option up to the worker. But if you vote in the wrong precinct, your vote won’t be counted, giving poll workers the power to influence elections. Another provision in the same law states that the voter, not the election officials, are at fault in any legal proceeding or administrative review of any voter error, essentially making the voter guilty until proven innocent.

And perhaps the silliest change: if a voter fills in the oval for a candidate and also writes in the name of the candidate, the vote won’t be counted. Two positives make a negative I guess is the failed logic here.

The reason given for these changes has ostensibly been to prevent voter fraud, though there really isn’t much in the way of voter fraud going on that anyone can see. Not on this side of the voting booth. But it’s clear that these changes are meant to restrict and disenfranchise exactly the primary demographics – the young, the elderly, the low-income – who voted for President Obama.

I don’t understand how this is okay. I don’t understand how Governor Kasich can look himself in the mirror. They are purposefully aiming to take away one of Americans’ primary rights: the right to vote. I don’t understand how the entire Republican Party has not been taken to task for this.(2)

But I mostly certainly do not understand how Mike Huckabee can come to Ohio and cracked a joke about it.

“Make a list…Call them and ask them, ‘Are you going to vote on Issue 2(3) and are you going to vote for it? If they say no, well, you just make sure that they don’t go vote. Let the air out of their tires on Election Day. Tell them the election has been moved to a different date. That’s up to you how you creatively get the job done.”

This is horrible, not because Huckabee made the joke, but because other people laughed. People in Mr. Huckabee’s audience laughed with his suggestion – not at it, mind you – because everyone knows that’s what the Republicans are trying to do. It’s only funny because a) he said it aloud, and b) because it’s true. So by laughing they admit that stripping people’s basic American rights is perfectly acceptable.

People in other countries literally put their lives on the line to have a say in who runs their countries, and this after going to war to secure that right in the first place. But here, in Ohio, we laugh at the idea of taking that right away. We laugh at the thought that this is an effective strategy. We laugh at having found a whole new way of stealing office, at stripping away people’s rights.

I guess this is nothing new. The pursuit of happiness is a right many homosexuals do not have. Not to mention women. And the under-privileged. The right to live without fear is something that anyone bullied in school does not have. The right to marry the person you love is at risk – or non-existent – all over this supposedly great land for wildly varying reasons. So whittling away the right to vote is just one more thing to take away from those who don’t have much anyway.

Living a swing state isn’t cool any more. It’s shameful. Today I’m ashamed to be an Ohioian. For the first time ever, I really want to leave. I’ve defended this state to people for years. I feel like a fool.


  1. Some of these are now up for referendum. Others are pending referendum review. But it doesn’t matter. The point, as you’ll see, is to confuse and disenfranchise. If voters are sure which are actual laws and which are up for vote, the same goal is achieved.
  2. Well, I sort of understand. Democrats, the only other real option, are too busy crying about how they lost and thinking about how they could have won to look around them and realize there’s some highly unethical stuff going on right in front of them.
  3. I’ll save Issue 2 for another day. I haven’t the stomach for both of these atrocities on the same day.

stinking badges

A little while ago, Google News started awarding badges according to the types of news stories a user may read. So if you read about, say, Apple products, there’s an Apple badge you would get after reading a certain number of articles.(1) With each badge there are also levels: bronze, silver, gold….(2)

I’ve noticed a slight problem though:

I am not a Republican.

Really. I’m not. It’s just that I find Republicans these days especially crazy. Reading about their antics and unfair play feels somehow urgent, as though I need to be as informed as possible. I’m not sure that Democrats have the balls nor the organizational skills to keep President Obama in the White House another four years, so it feels critical that I know which kind of crazy we’ll be dealing with post-2012.(3)

Anyone who judges me by my Google News badges, though, will think I’ve on the same Crazy Bus as the Tea Party nutjobs. Seriously. I have a silver star on the Republican badge! That means I can see Russia from my back door, right?!

All I can ask is that you not judge me by what I read. My ‘fashion’ sense? Sure. Undying love of Taylor Swift? Go right ahead. Just don’t put me on the boat with Bachmann and Palin and Perry and Gingrich. Please.

(4)


  1. Presumably.
  2. I haven’t reached anything above gold yet so I don’t know what these levels may be. I’m guessing ‘bacon’ and maybe ‘honey badger.’
  3. Nor, I feel I need to say, am I strictly a Democrat. I simply believe in being reasonable and compassionate, which puts me more at odds with Republicans than Democrats.
  4. If there were a badge for it, I would have received it today in my baited-breath following of the Amanda Knox appeal. I was never convinced that she did what the Italian police said she said and I am glad both she and her former boyfriend were acquitted.